Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Center of the Universe

I have discovered the center of the universe: I am THE CENTER and the world revolves around ME. This statement sounds "politically incorrect" coming from a mother; shouldn't my kids be the center of my universe? perhaps, my husband? As a good christian, I am told I need to be the last and the servant of all in order to be the first and that's exactly what I have been doing for most of my adult life but mainly during the past 11 months.... Unfortunately, I don't feel like I will ever come first and most of all, sometimes I feel I don't even exist. Somehow I get lost in the midst of the errands, chores and responsibilities and being the servant doesn't seem like such a good idea anymore. I was recently reminded by Paulo Coelho, Brazilian writer, that in order to help others, you have to help yourself and find balance. In one of his books, "The Witch of Portobello", Coelho tells us that in finding ourselves we need to locate our "center" and incidentally it is not our heart or the brain but the belly button. The belly button???? Who thinks of this humble body part, unless you are taking a shower and are making sure is getting cleaned properly? After I read that book, the mental picture of the belly button as my "center" stayed in my head...I couldn't make the connection at the time but then again, Coelho says you don't reach ANY level of self -realization without silence and I tell you, silence IS golden (for real) in my house, and like gold, also very rare!

In my constant search for balance and self-worth, I strive to have at least one moment of praying time during the day (or night) and establish that connection with a higher being but most of the time I am forced to find God in the ones I share my life with and this is more real than any rosaries I pray. I have, with the help of Mr. Coelho, discovered that the center of the universe is revealed to me by connecting me with my loved ones at light speed! In one split second, I can share their triumphs, their failures, their wishes, their hopes, their very souls. My kids came from my "center" and I came from someone else's and so life gets passed on through that hole in our middle....We are all connected with the Universe and the creator of it, through the miracle of life and the love that makes it possible. After this revealing moment in my life I can now stop feeling like the servant and more like the rock that keeps everyone grounded. Although at this time in my life, my own personal goals are "on hold", I feel like I am still growing and evolving and that I have found my center, with the help of those who I provide balance for: my family.

I AM the center of the Universe with God, Raci, and our kids; with all the good and the bad, the ordinary and the extraordinary, the spiritual and the mundane, we are one but also individuals...the center of our own universe.

Thank you, Paulo, for introducing me to a very important part of my body: my belly button!

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