Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Big Brother, Little Brother

During a recent visit to the library, the boys came across this book and went bananas over it - especially Frankie.  He started pointing at the book cover and identifying the boys in the book with Victor and himself.  As a matter of fact, I must agree the boys pictured in the cover share some physical similarities with my two boys but what's really the substance here is the story it tells.   This is not a blog entry about a book review, really, but the main idea behind this story is how these two brothers relate to each other and how they "understand" what the other one wants.  It wasn't too long ago, when Frankie was still non-verbal, that Victor was the main interpreter for his brother...I am starting to see the favor being returned by Frankie when Victor has an occasional meltdown.  These two complete each other in a way I never realized before when I was growing up myself.  I had siblings, sure, they were fun to play with and now that we are adults, I know I can count of them unconditionally, but the relationship that Frankie and Victor are building is nowhere near anything I have seen in other family siblings.  Frankie completes Victor in the way that he provides him with the audience he needs, the adoration, the attention, and makes him feel responsible and in charge, in two words, a Big Boy. Ever since Frankie started school, Victor comes along to drop him off in the morning, making sure other kids are nice to Frankie and helping him get through the "morning" social ritual of saying hello and commenting on the new backpack, the new haircut or the interesting stuff brought over for sharing.  I can see how Frankie follows Victor's leads and cues in the hard game of being "cool" and relating to his classmates - he is so blessed to have a big brother to look up to and Victor is so lucky to count on his little brother for unconditional admiration. They are beginning to understand who is the Big Brother and who is the Little Brother and they are both relating to their role pretty seriously...I can only hope they stay close to each other as they grow up and more than brothers, that they become life-long friends.

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