Saturday, September 24, 2011

Easily Amused!

I never considered myself a simple-minded person, on the contrary, I used to enjoy complicated things, the more polarized a subject, the more interesting a discussion was for me! I was probably obnoxious and pushy; perhaps I was convinced that I was sharp and smart but the truth is I was probably unbearable.

That seems so long ago now that sometimes I feel like that was another person's life and not mine. Indeed, it was. My life is simple now. Day by day and step by step but boy, the pleasures a simple life can afford are amazingly underestimated. My world was turned upside down on a cold winter morning when a therapist from the UW Autism Center told me that my son had Autism; still, the first thing that popped into my head was: How do I fix him? I didn't think of the why's, I didn't ponder on when this had happened, all I wanted was to move forward, to look ahead and get my child to be normal, just like everyone else. I have been working on defeating Autism ever since that morning but I have also realized along the way that my son is not broken. He doesn't need fixing. He doesn't need to be like everyone else. His life is harder than other children's because he has to learn everything - nothing comes to him naturally but that is just a fact we live with. Once I stopped looking at him like a project to be completed, I started enjoying him for who he really is. Life became amusing and simple at the same time.

I cry easily these days but I also laugh easily and I must confess I'm easily amused. I'm amused at how things fall into place everyday and when they don't, I go to bed crossing my fingers that it will all be better in the morning. It might take a few mornings but they always do fall into place and when they do, it's always a small miracle.

One thing that makes me immensely happy is to see my children laughing. I can't help but to smile when I hear them giggling!~ Once upon a time my baby boy lost his voice and his smile but today he laughs and I can't help but to laugh with him, even when I might also have a tear or two in my eyes.

It's all in the small stuff and there is no reason not to enjoy it, one smile at a time.

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