When you least expect it....the sun comes out.

It rains in Seattle....a lot. Winter is cold and gloomy and the rain is freezing. When it's not raining, it's still dark and sometimes windy. And then, out of a sudden, there it is - the sun comes out and it surprises all of us. After days and days of being cold to the bones, wearing your boots and feeling like your coat is an extension of your body, the sun comes out and you reach for your shades because it hurts your eyes, so used to the shadows of this season. A winter sunny day is a true miracle for us here in the Pacific Northwest. The sun shines and it changes everything! Strangers in the street, at the market, at school, smile, wishing each other a nice day because the sun is shinning. You often hear: "get out there and enjoy the sun!" "Hey, it's sunny today, make it count!" - It's like the sun alone is reason enough to be happy, no matter what. The kids look forward to getting out to the playground because the sun is shinning and they don't have to have "indoor" playtime. It's like there is a big party and everyone is invited to join.

Around here, everything looks different when the sun shines - it's like things are not so hazy anymore and you can see that what looked scary in the darkness, it's not so bad once there is light. Your fears, your hesitation, your lack of hope; it all gets erased away because you can see how small your problems really are and that all it takes to face them is to wait for the rain to stop. And the rain does stop and usually, it does when you least expect it - then, the sun shines and it makes it all better. Hey, what can I say? I am easily amused and small wonders just take my breath away. Today was one of those days. When I looked up in the middle of a rainy, cold morning, and I saw the sun, I smiled because it always reminds me that no matter how long bitter winter days might be, there will always be a sunny day in store. The good Lord knows that we need this sunny day that brings hope and promises of better tomorrows yet to come. Because good things do come to those who wait.

To be really honest, I'm just exhausted and worn out from the winter, the cold, the rain, the wind, the snow and the trials and errors to make things work for my kids, especially Frankie. It's tiring to wait and hope and then to try again when it didn't work. But there is always tomorrow and that might be the lucky day when what you are trying out would work and then it would just be like a sunny day in the middle of winter - a true miracle. The unknown makes me uneasy and it makes me fearful, especially when I don't see immediate results but I press on. When it gets dark in my life and I want to stop, I push myself to keep on going because there is always someone who will have a flashlight and will offer to light the way for me. When it's cold or rainy on my path, I get plenty of umbrellas and coats along the way and better yet, I often get the arm of a friend around my shoulders to keep me warm and keep me company along the way.

On a clear day like today, it's easy to realize that although nothing might be falling into place in my life or in yours, the most important thing is to keep on going, one day at a time, because after many grey days, you are bound to find a sunny day along the way - when you do, just stop, enjoy it and treasure it, because in the winter, they are not easy to come along.

The best day ever!

"...Thanks a lot, thanks for the wonder in me....."

Thanksgiving is an American holiday, granted, but it's also THE holiday that should be adopted by everyone in the world, regardless of religion or believes. So, from here on, I declare, Thanksgiving day in our house will be The De Armas Happy Feast! Sure, we will still eat Turkey (and pork, and rice and beans, and flan, and Cuban bread....etc) and all the fixings but we will also be thankful because we have faith and we have hope and now we can say that ALL of us in this family have finally learned to believe.

We are, indeed a family of believers. I confess to be the biggest offender at never giving up when others tell me to let it go. Raci has learned to trust me and takes most chances along with me. Rebecca is more of a stubborned person than a believer but I am not complaining - it's part of her charm and it gets the job done. Victor, well, that kid is just so good he will believe and trust until the day he dies. Now, Frankie is another story. Believing? Trusting? Not a chance! Well, on the best day ever, on the day that marks our Happy Feast, all that changed, thanks to a Kindergarten Fall Festival and two wonderful teachers who have helped him try and try again.

Frankie has been working with his Developmental Kindergarten teacher on a "blending" program, where Kindergarten students in self-contained classrooms have an opportunity to join the General Ed, Full-day Kindergarten class during the day, for academic or recreational time, based on their ability to cope with the requirements. I must say it was not easy at the beginning and we were both very, very scared. This was something that terrified Frankie and made me hesitant. Still, we took the plunge and the process has been amazing for him. In less than two months, he's spending more and more time in the General Ed class, without support or an aid and doing the work his peers are doing. He doesn't always finishes his work so he brings it home - no matter how much complaining and whining, he has learned the work doesn't go away. He has to finish it and he does. When he turns it in and brings it back with a star or a nice comment, his face is lit up brighter than our Christmas tree! I volunteer on Mondays and Fridays to help with a special activity they have in Kindergarten called "stations" where the kids have the opportunity to move around the classroom as a small group to experience different kinds of fun learning stations....I did it at first to be there to coach Frankie and see first hand how he was coping with his "blending" - the possibility of bullying, teasing and mean words that can hurt more than punches had me terrified and I wanted to make sure I was there to re-direct. Well, what I found is that Frankie can hold his own ground and that he is stimulated to learn by the challenges he has to face in a General Ed setting. Most importantly, he is willing to TRY. No matter how much we praised him before, "I can't" was his motto. You would tell him he had a positive trait or a great ability and he will answer right away with a "No, I am not - No I don't!" - it was frustrating and sad at the same time. As he spends more time on a General Ed setting, he believes he can do the work and what is expected of him as a "November Kindergartner." He can listen, follow directions, ask for help, and be part of a team....that's all perhaps not a big thing for a typically developing five-year-old but it's a huge thing for him and for us.

The best part of this process is that Frankie was invited to participate in the Kindergarten Fall Festival this year, along with the General Ed class! He worked and worked and practiced and practiced and I am sure it must have been a painful process to follow the words AND body movements of six songs, one poem and one dance. Frankie would have melt downs in his preschool music class and will refuse to do PE because of his motor issues and challenges with coordination....I couldn't imagine him participating in a performance with twenty more kids and struggling to keep up without crying or breaking down. Well, he did. When he brought home the card inviting us to attend I was even afraid to ask the teacher if it had been a mistake. I figured, hey, if they are willing to give it a shot, so am I - let's do this thing! I tried not to build it up so much so he wouldn't give up before trying and at the same time, I tried to make a bit of noise just enough to get him excited about it...it was a hard balancing act! When the day came for the performance, he would not tell us what it was about - there was no getting a word out of the kid and his major thing was that the parents would be really surprised and proud of the Kindergarten class. Frankie was so happy to see us at the library when the class walked in he started clapping at us....awkward, since none of the other kids were doing it but I didn't care - he kept on telling us how much we would love what they were going to do and he was not wrong - it was the best performance I have ever watched because it was a display of self-confidence, trust, persistence and most of all, of hope. All of that wrapped up with a dose of Kindergarten charm. I could have not asked for a better show.

When the time came for the show to end and parents asked for an encore, "the dance" number was up and the "wipe out" song started playing. Oh, man, the hand movements, the jumping, the SURFING! Not all the kids did it right but they did it and so did our Frankie. He DID it! He believed he could do it and he did. That's enough reason to feast, and feast and feast! At the end of that night, during our praying time together, he told me that he "will never forget this day" but I am sure it's just the first one of many more wonderful days to come because he found a little switch inside that allows him to try HIS best, and to be proud of his accomplishes. That makes all the difference in the world and it's what Thanksgiving is all about; being grateful for realizing that what really matters in life is always inside of you.

Easily Amused!

I never considered myself a simple-minded person, on the contrary, I used to enjoy complicated things, the more polarized a subject, the more interesting a discussion was for me! I was probably obnoxious and pushy; perhaps I was convinced that I was sharp and smart but the truth is I was probably unbearable.

That seems so long ago now that sometimes I feel like that was another person's life and not mine. Indeed, it was. My life is simple now. Day by day and step by step but boy, the pleasures a simple life can afford are amazingly underestimated. My world was turned upside down on a cold winter morning when a therapist from the UW Autism Center told me that my son had Autism; still, the first thing that popped into my head was: How do I fix him? I didn't think of the why's, I didn't ponder on when this had happened, all I wanted was to move forward, to look ahead and get my child to be normal, just like everyone else. I have been working on defeating Autism ever since that morning but I have also realized along the way that my son is not broken. He doesn't need fixing. He doesn't need to be like everyone else. His life is harder than other children's because he has to learn everything - nothing comes to him naturally but that is just a fact we live with. Once I stopped looking at him like a project to be completed, I started enjoying him for who he really is. Life became amusing and simple at the same time.

I cry easily these days but I also laugh easily and I must confess I'm easily amused. I'm amused at how things fall into place everyday and when they don't, I go to bed crossing my fingers that it will all be better in the morning. It might take a few mornings but they always do fall into place and when they do, it's always a small miracle.

One thing that makes me immensely happy is to see my children laughing. I can't help but to smile when I hear them giggling!~ Once upon a time my baby boy lost his voice and his smile but today he laughs and I can't help but to laugh with him, even when I might also have a tear or two in my eyes.

It's all in the small stuff and there is no reason not to enjoy it, one smile at a time.

Sparky the dog!

This is Sparky, our dog. We don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet but we know it's a Portuguese Water Dog. (no relation to the Obama's dog, for the record). We don't know when Sparky will join our family but we know it will. We are sure as the sun will rise tomorrow that this dog will be our friend, our helper and our guide in so many ways the possibilities are keeping me up at night. This might just be the biggest thing that has happened in our family since Victor was able to drink regular milk or since Rebecca discovered Dr. Who, the series. I tell you, it's BIG.

Sparky is not going to be a regular dog. It will come from the best line of dogs we know, raised with love to work for love. I can't put it any other way.

So, we are not big animal people....to say the least, our daughter Rebecca has suffered for a long time because we wouldn't get a pet, specifically, a dog. We couldn't commit to the extra work and I personally felt it was just too much of a responsibility and I couldn't be bothered. Truth is, I didn't want to get emotionally invested with a pet that I knew will die one day. Well, life has a way to make you face your fears and I did fall in love with a dog, our sister's dog, who came to live with us two years ago. Although she was an older lady, Chiqui was amazing with our kids and when she was gone she left a big hole in our lives and in our hearts. I did learn one thing out of our experience with Chiqui; she brought the best out in all of us, especially in Frankie. They shared a especial connection and when the end was near for her, she chose to lay next to his bed - sometimes I wonder if she knew how much he really needed her and did not want to leave.

Since then, one thing has led to another and on a fateful sunny day we were at the City of Shoreline Parade and met a happy bunch - they go around helping people, young and old through their labor of love. This singular troop is lead by Mrs. Laurie Hardman, who is a certified breeder and trainer of these amazing dogs, the Portuguese Water Dogs. I must confess I'm very ignorant about dog breeds and I had no knowledge of them before; I did like their no-shed coat and hypoallergenic quality but that was that. Because I like to know and I like to research, I have made it a point to find out more about who these dogs are. I have found out they are intelligent, independent, working dogs that are easily trained into the various Service Dog roles such as hearing dogs (assistance dogs for the deaf), mobility dogs, and seizure response dogs. They also make unusually good therapy dogs . Therapy dogs! Did I hear therapy dogs? Once I bumped into Ms. Hardman again at the HS where I work, I knew the universe was trying to tell me something, so we started our journey to find our Sparky. With her help and guidance, there is no price tag we can put to the realization of a dream.

By the way, the name Sparky is a "puppy" version of Sparkles, the name that Frankie wanted for our dog. I'm not sure where he heard it but it couldn't be a better fit - this dog is sparkling, shining full of possibilities and it's already loved and wanted by a family that enjoys hard work and values hope more than anything in the world. Also, what better dog could we find for our water-loving kids than one that would swim with them? It's a match made in heaven!

More to come soon......

****If you want more information about Mrs. Hardman's labor of love, please visit http://siriushealing.com/ ******