Fall stillnes after a reflective Summer

I was reminded by a good friend that I don't write enough about Rebecca. If I would have started this blog last year, most probably my entire blog would have been ABOUT Rebecca.
My first born put me through it last year with her school transition and the pain and suffering we went through together, made me feel like a fifth grader again...If I would have competed in that program, Are You Smarter than a Fifth Grader?, I would have probably won! Just to put it in practical terms I am now on a first name basis with her teacher and we exchange friendly e-mails once in a while. At the time, I thought she was looking for attention since so much was going on with Frankie and our daily activities revolved around his evaluations, therapies, doctor appointments and so on...now I think it might have just been a whole different story.


For the second time in her short life, Rebecca faced a life-changing event and my little girl grew up, along with all the pains that accompany the process. The last time she had to deal with a big change it was after losing her grandfather when she was seven and we had to go through just about six months of grief counseling for that.  This time, the symptoms were a little more subtle so I almost missed them. Fortunately, I could relate in so many ways to this change since I myself had to leave my country at seventeen and faced a different language, a different society and had to leave all my friends behind. I know a little bit about young dreams being broken and feeling your whole world is crumbling down on top of you head. Although I knew back then that moving was for the benefit of my entire family, I still had this bitterness inside for a while that made me want to be an only child.


After the drama of the horrible school year we endured with Rebecca, we decided she was not going to Miami for vacation as we had agreed when we first moved. We felt she needed to understand that her behavior during the year had not earned her such a privilege so we went ahead and grounded her. We were probably wrong to do this but at the end, a Summer with my daughter proved to be the best one for both of us. In the midst of lunches at the beach and at the park, along with afternoon walks, I learned to understand her better and to respect her feelings. Most importantly, I made the transition from treating her like a child to treating her like a teen; I was able to see through the soul of this precious being I call my daughter. On the other hand, Rebecca learned how to express herself in ways other than acting up and learned to trust me and speak her mind with respect. She learned that her needs are as important as those of her brothers and I learned to make sure she does not forget this. She is not here anymore as part of the "family move" but she has bought into the benefits of having a better education, of having mom at home and knowing that her brothers, specially Frankie, can look forward to a better future because of all of us pulling together as a family.


This school year has been wonderful so far and she has earned a few cooking classes on the side. To our surprise, instead of asking for a cooking class, she asked us to register her in a "babysitting" class sponsored by the red cross. She said she wanted to learn how to take care of her brothers and what to do in an emergency. I tell you, sometimes I think she is the adult and I am the kid - I don't think it has ever crossed my mind to learn CPR - I figured if I had an emergency I can always call 911!!!! Well, Rebecca did go to the course and is proud to display her certificate card on her wallet. Our little girl grew up.


These days I don't write so much about Rebecca because she is back to being a quiet soul, gentle and kind. She doesn't like the lime light and is contempt with being in the background, just tagging along to whatever the rest of us decides the course might be for our pack. Sometimes, more than I would like, I might just lose her in the shuffle of this crazy household but I do make an effort to remember to spend quality time with her like blow-drying her hair, doing each other's toe nails and just being girls. She can watch those dreadful Dr. Who episodes with her dad but that's entirely another blog entry!

The memory of trees

The other day I drove through one of the streets of my daily routes and the trees were all yellow! When did this happen? Well, I guess I can ask the same thing of the year all together...where did it go? Just a little bit ago I was looking forward to the "glorious" Seattle Summer that everyone was telling me about (which was indeed, glorious!) and now I am digging out recipes for Thanksgiving day! Nonetheless, Autumn brings so many wonderful changes along with its changing leaves....the cooler weather, the comfort foods and Halloween, my daughter's favorite holiday. This season, I can't help but to remember my dear aunt, Orfa, who is not in this earth anymore but lives on through The Memory of Trees.

A long time ago, when were all still living in Nicaragua, la Tia Orfita was lucky enough to travel to the United States in connection with her work for the department of education. I will never forget her stories of the changing leaves in Washington DC. Through her stories, my 10-year-old-child imagination could see the yellows and the browns and how beautiful Autumn was in the far away lands of the north. Later on, after I moved to Miami, I still could not have the chance to see those changing leaves because of Miami's tropical weather. Whenever we traveled up North, I would miss the leaves and only got to see naked trees. La Tia Orfita traveled again, this time to North Carolina, again in Autumn, and the stories of the trees continued. She loved this scenery so much and described it with such joy that it was impossible not to fall in love with those burning red trees and yellow leaves although I wasn't 10 anymore.

La Tia Orfita is gone now but I remember her every time I see a tree with yellow leaves. I feel her soul when I admire the wonderful sights of the Fall season. After almost thirty years of the first time I heard from her about the great process of nature that is Autumn, I have finally watched with my own eyes, the wonderful festival of color of the changing leaves. I am enjoying every minute of this season as much as I enjoyed listening to my aunt's stories. The wait has been worth it.

Thank God for Autumn and thank God for aunts like la Tia Orfita.

Click below for a video of Fall paints/pictures around Seattle as well as some of Tia Orfita's pictures along with the sound track from Enya's The Memory of Trees.

If New York is a Melting Pot, Washington is an Applesauce!

This morning, my husband said to me that we have taken so much from this State...more than we can ever give back. He is right. Sometimes I feel like we are on a "gimme-gimme" rampage and our hands are just full of blessings. From the very moment we moved here last year, we have met kind people ready to make our lives easier and better. I am sure that people in this city do not see themselves as we see them, but for us, Miamians - coming from the land ruled by the "every man for himself" motto,- it's still puzzling to see how involved people are here and how strong this community is. I often wondered where the secret lied in building caring citizens, who work with one another regardless of their background and beliefs but I think I have found the answer. The secret might just be found in making apple sauce.

Recently, Victor participated in making applesauce from scratch with his preschool class at the Shoreline Children's Center. Now, don't be fooled, it was not just any applesauce, it was a group effort and it was just delicious! All children were to bring one apple and participate in the process of peeling it, cutting it, smashing it and cooking it together with the rest. The result of their individual contribution, a "diverse" apple sauce, was shared and enjoyed by all members of Victor's home room (and some lucky parents too!). There you have it: An applesauce made with all kinds of apples (gala, granny smith, red delicious, etc) and sweetened by the pride of preschoolers who were delighted in making something so delicious, together. At the end of the process, this awesome applesauce belonged to ALL but was made from each one's individual apple. What a wise lesson of community involvement! One apple can't give you much applesauce but 30+ can definitely provide you with a big pot! These children are 3, 4 and 5 years old and are already being taught the importance of working together. No wonder Seattle kids grow up to be empowered citizens in charge of their own destiny, with a clear community vision and a strong desire to be involved.

By coming up with exercises like this one, Victor's teacher and her assistants have taught our son the way into becoming a responsible child, eager to learn and share his knowledge with his peers but most of all, he has learned to be kind, compassionate and proud to help others...this is more than I can ask from ANY school curriculum.

We are lucky to have moved to Washington and become some of the apples of this awesome applesauce!




Victor waits his turn and takes a shot at using the apple peeler during the "apple sauce" hands-on Project.

The Bunny Catcher

You might be fooled and think this is an attachment for my hand held mixer but it's not. Nope, it's a "bunny catcher" as clearly stated by Frankie this morning. I didn't even know I had such an artifact tucked away in one of the kitchen drawers but judging by the clever use of it, I am considering E-Bay at this point!


The whole thing's got HUGE proportions for me because it made my day, my week and probably my last three months! Frankie is actually starting to pretend, to make believe and he is using his imagination - this time, spontaneously and without a prompt. He dogged out the "catcher" from the drawer and held it up for me to see it, then he looked straight into my eyes and exclaimed, "look, it's a bunny catcher!" and then went on telling me a story of how the bunny jumps and gets away from him but he runs after the bunny and catches it with his handy-dandy "bunny catcher."

If I would have not had the year I've had, I would probably think this is not a big deal but considering that I have been working so hard to get my kid to do things that are supposed to come naturally to him (eye contact, pointing, taking turns, sharing and so on), milestones like the "bunny catcher" are worth blogging about!!! During those really dark days of the initial Autism diagnosis, when we lived one day at a time, completing one task at a time and hoping for a miracle, I never thought I would see the day when a mixer attachment would become a "catcher"; furthermore, I never imagined how this would make me so immensely happy. It feels that the dark times are far behind us, yet it's only been seven months. The Frankie we enjoy now is not the quiet little boy who used to stare at the floor and into space but he has become this "chatter box" who does not stop talking, building complete sentences and expressing his likes and dislikes. We have gotten our son back and there is no limit to the amazing possibilities the future holds for our special child...He is now part of this crazy family, fighting like the rest of us to get a word in at the dinner table.

Just now, while I am typing this entry, Frankie is sitting next to me and he points at the picture exclaiming again: "Look! the bunny catcher!" and I look and smile because this catcher is the most valuable thing we have in this house...who else can say they own one?